Sunday, November 11, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
...the hoovercraft video has been removed because it's loud, annoying, and i think we've all seen it. if you haven't seen it, it can be found at http://www.internationalrobotics.com/Movies/Float-Er.MPG.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
does anyone else find this exceptionally lame??? who needs a "walking workout" dvd? ...and how exactly does that work? do you walk in circles in the living room as you attempt to keep an eye on the dvd for it to tell you what's next? and how much walking instruction can be on a walking dvd? who really needs THIS much help??
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Thinking this was some sort of product she was looking for that I wasn't aware of I tried to respond in a professional manner, "No, I don't think we carry that."
She then said, a little confused, "No, no, I mean with your hair."
Realizing she wasn't talking about any product but rather something to do with my spots, I thought quickly and couldn't remember ever having anything that sounded like alopecia (whatever that was!).
As soon as I was done helping her I got on one of the computers at work and looked up alopecia on Wikipedia. Once I started reading the light bulb came on in my head and everything started making a little more sense.
For those who are as uneducated as I was feel free to learn more.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Apparently when they were filming Robin Hood together, Errol was in hot pursuit however still married to his first wife. Olivia, being the lady that she is, was resisting with all her might. Errol was trying to convince Olivia that they were soon to be divorced but after his wife visited the set for a few days, it was quite apparent that that was not going to happen any time soon. Olivia decided to get back at Errol. The next piece of the story is best described by the words of Ms. de Havilland. "When we moved back to the movie studio, there was a kissing scene that we needed to shoot which I looked forward to with great anticipation. I blew every take at least seven or eight times. . .Errol grew quite uncomfortable and, if I might say, had a little trouble with his tights." This was followed with a knowing raise of the eyebrow and a subtle nod.
When you've got it, you've got it!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I can't wait until Steven asks his mom, "Mom, whats a mena je?"
Monday, August 13, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
well, i've just experienced the total traveling buzz kill. would you like to join me on my journey?
3:30 pm - arrive at LAX, check-in, no hiccups
4:10 pm - board the plane for departure at 4:27
4:25 pm - pull away from the gate. since i'm running on .5 hours of sleep in the past 34 hours, i quickly fall into a deep slumber despite punk kid who smells like cigarettes next to me
5:15 pm - rudely awoken by loud speaker as the plane is heading back to the gate. the reason? "the plane is missing a part that is critical for safety. we cannot take this plane to chicago."
okay, fine. but did we really just figure this out after an hour of sitting on the runway??
5:40 pm - good news..."we have found another plane that can take us to chicago this evening. bad news..."it will not be here for another 2 hours."
5:50 pm - deplane.
6:15 pm - try to eat a crappy salad at wolfgang puck's for dinner. try to do something productive for the next 1.5 hours.
7:45 pm - board plane #2 of the evening.
7:50 pm - kick trash at the crossword puzzle featured in "Horizons Magazine" because i've already been on a couple united flights this month. go team.
8:00 pm - crash...er, fall asleep.
2:18 am (CST) - arrive in chicago, deplane, get luggage, try to find a cab. dude in a town car approaches me. i specifically ask, "is there a premium fee for this cab ride?" ...the leather seats just look too good to be true for standard airport transport. his response: "no." then he proceeds to invite others to the cab. fine. if it takes part of the cost burden, i'm fine with it.
2:50 am - arrive at hotel after dropping off other passengers. total = $65. what?!? that's "standard" for a 25 min. cab ride w/two passengers four blocks away from each other? did he charge the other guy $65 too?? you've got to be kidding me. the guy proceeds to add a $15 tip to the bill rather than the $8 i originally specified. right. i get his name and number and let him know that i'll be calling his company. whatever.
3:00 am - attempt to check-in to the hotel. front desk can't find my reservation. i should be sharing a room w/someone from work, but this hotel only maintains the name of the first person on a reservation. i call our company Group Travel Services...no luck...they don't know the roomie assignments. me: "fine. then can i just get a room at least." front desk: "well, we're overbooked."
how can a hotel be overbooked? it's not like there are people other than me strewn about the lobby.
3:45 am - after trying everything short of going to another hotel for 45 min, ultimately decide to find a couch in the lobby and just chill, work, etc. until i can contact someone about the rooms, finally check-in, and take a shower before training begins at 8:00 am.
so, yeah. that's my buzz kill. i'm still looking forward to the remainder of the week and the weekend, but with just a few more (...or less) reservations.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Thanks to the ever-so-generous Utah Jazz Derek Fisher has been released from his contract with them (or at least will be released), and it looks like he's comin home!!! I know the Lakers haven't given us much to rejoice about in the past while, but I'm hoping this will help out a bit.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Go to Google and type in "french military victories"
Click "I'm feeling lucky"
Proceed to click on the link after "did you mean"
Take a few moments and read about the valor of our friends across the pond.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
So while not everyone was present this last weekend in Utah, I thought I would post some highlights so fun could be enjoyed by all. Friday night started with a bowl-a-thon. What is more Turner-esque than spending a weekend night in a bowling alley, I ask you. I did get the high score of 145; but, I think the highlight of the evening were the exit moves executed by Tyler, Lindsay and I. They included
- Irish Step Dancing
- Frankenstein Walk
- Chest Slide (not performed by a male)
- Bend and Snap
The water park was a blast as well. I won't give you the blow by blow, but imagine Wes getting stuck and having to body shimmy up a water slide so he could take the final dip and exit. Lindsay had a particularly fantastic belly flop from trying to attempt a flip with a 1/2 twist. And Lou and I both discovered that we have absolutely no upper body strength thanks to a rope swing.
I know this posting is lame, but I am trying to find my inner voice. Thanks for bearing with!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
So today I was running some errands that brought me over by Via Estudillo and Via Coronel. As I began my ascent up the hill, I rounded a curve, and there in the middle of the street was this HUGE German Shepherd. I slowed the car down hoping that he would let me pass, but instead, he bound over to the car window and after I rolled it down he started licking me. I am such a sucker. Anyway, with my many years of lost dog experience, I had the feeling that the dog wasn't far from his home. I grabbed his collar and tried to look for an address, but only saw two phone numbers on the tags and no dog name. I made the dog get in the car and he was surprisingly sweet and obedient. He was licking me all the way.
I called both the numbers and got no answer, so I just left messages. I hung around the nabe for a few minutes, but after a while grew restless and decided to take him home and put him out back with Mr. H. Little did I know that this would be the day when Mr. H would finally become a MAN. Without going in to detail, because I'd like to keep this at least a PG-13 rated blog, let's just say that Mr. H was all over him! And the shepherd totally surrendered, rolled over on his back and in other words--and this with a dog that was at least 130-150% his size--was in full-on complete submission mode. It only took him 10 years, but finally Mr. H has accepted his XY chromosomes!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Have ya heard the one about the couple in Sweden that was denied the right to register their six-month old girl with the name Metallica by the Swedish Tax Board? Even though there is already an existing girl named Metallica in Sweden?
What kind of a country has a governmental agency that tells you what you can name your kid and what you cant? I WANNA LIVE THERE so I don't have to be surrounded by girls named MADISON! I could just pass a law...there shall be no more female Madisons because the government says so! Maybe I could even get them to pass a law saying you aren't allowed to name a kid Temerity.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
We ordered some special speed axles:
Super Speed Axles
The fastest axles on the market, guaranteed!
Polished, nickel plated, with secret cuts to reduce friction and
- Better than polished!
- These axles are machined perfect, then polished, then nickel plated for a super smooth, mirror-like finish
- Just insert these beauties and you are ready to race!
• Friction eliminator!
- Cut in middle of wheel so less axle rubs on wheel
- Wheel does not contact axle so you have no friction (none, zero!!!) in this area
- Provides a cavity to hold graphite during the race
• Friction Reducer!
- Tapered head so only a small amount is rubbing on the wheel
• Wobble Eliminator!
- Axle shaft is undercut at the head to create a perfect 90 degree edge which eliminates wheel wobble...fixing another problem that slows down your car.
- Undercut at axle head also eliminates friction in this area because less wheel surface is rubbing on the axle.
- Undercut also provides another secret cavity to hold graphite during the race
• Optimal Performance!
- Axles are machined perfectly round and straight for optimal performance
These axles have been shipped off to Boston to be coated w/ Dicronite, which for those of you who don't know is (in simple terms) the slipperiest stuff known to man. It has a co-efficient of friction of 0.030 (whatever that means... I just got if off the site http://www.dicronite.com/ If you want to know more feel free to explore).
We have also ordered the following speed enhancing items:
PRO Speed Wheels
These have been lathed seven different ways for trueness, weight reduction, and friction reduction; further coated with a "secret multi-step moly-graphite coating" for the ultimate speed advantage.
And I know what you're asking... Why tungsten? Here's why:
Tungsten gives you an advantage because it is about 1.8 times denser than lead...
so tungsten is about half the size for the same weight.
The single tungsten cyclinder on top (.5oz) weighs nearly the same as the three lead cyclinders (.7oz) on the bottom.
This gives you ore flexibilty in your car design,
while allowing you to place weights more precisely in a smaller area for speed.
Since pinewood derby cars are so small it is important to place weight exactly where you need it.
Tungsten - maximum car design flexibility,
precise weight placement for speed.
Hopefully in the next week we will have the car designed and cut.
Just to clarify ALL who help out are going to receive credit for their contributions. The names of all contributors will be displayed on the car!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
P-Dub Crew: Hey, we're all walking over to Hennessey's now...are you coming?
L: No, go ahead you guys...I just have to put some make-up on...i'll be 10 min. behind you.
P-Dub Crew: Are you sure?
L: Sure, not a problem...just tell me where to go.
...15 min. later, L leaves the condo.
L: hmmm...i think Hennessey's is down the street to the right. i'll double check on my GPS just to be sure.
GPS: turn left on Canyon Blvd. Straight ahead - 0.9 mi.
L: dang, 0.9 mi. that's a long way. did they really walk that far?? i guess so.
L @ 0.5 mi marker: this is crazy...i'm sure glad i have the GPS, though. i would have never walked this far if it didn't tell me to.
L @ 0.7 mi marker: hmmm...it's got to be just up around the corner.
L @ 0.9 mi marker: hmmm...empty chair lifts, empty base village, no Hennessey's Tavern.
go-go-gadget-sucky-GPS!! can you believe i walked a mile in the wrong direction and then had to walk all the way back?? ...i couldn't even get a break hitch-hiking! needless to say, two miles and about 40 minutes later i finally arrived at the destination for an evening of drunken co-worker merriment!!!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Blasto's elders quorum has decided to hold a pine wood derby contest as an activity. Blasto and I were excited to go back to our cub scout days and re-live the fun. Then after a certain Sunday we gained a better understanding of the competitiveness of this so called "just-for-fun activity."
Apparently the spirits of most participants have been deflated by a single engineer who apparently uses 3D CAD design programs to come up with the most efficient cars, and supposedly he always wins. Most in the ward have already conceded that he will win.
Not if we have anything to do with it...
We feel it necessary to not only establish the dominance of the Turner name in this new ward, but to also help defeat this pine wood derby-engineering-computer design mongrel to free the "little guys" from their dire, deflated state. "Turners Rule!"
Now we have done research, and we've discovered that the way to really win also co$ts! We could EASILY spend $100 and still be limiting ourselves. (If you doubt me go to http://www.pinewoodpro.com/ to see for yourself)
Obviously we are not going to spend $100. BUT we would like to ensure our victory, and we feel that this necessitates the expenditure of some limited funds. Hence, we are calling for everyone's help!
Blasto and I have committed $10 each, and we are hoping that we can rally all of your support and have everyone donate $5 each. (Just pass on McDonald's one time!)
All donations are greatly appreciated, and we will keep you all posted on our progress!
Just remember: "What we do in this life echoes in the eternities."
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
While in the class it was blatantly apparent that we were not in the condition needed to participate fully. We were dealing with exercise balls, and a couple of times neither of us were even flexible enough to complete the exercises. Needles to say there were times where I was crying with laughter at the retartedness of the both of us. Anyways class finishes and we go home.
The next morning we both get up and walk out of our rooms and ask, "How is your stomach?" To which we both have a reply along the lines of, "Psh!... I don't feel a thing. That dumb class didn't work me out at all!" And we both went on our ways.
The following morning (this is Saturday now) I come home from spending the night at a friends where I slept on a love sac basically in the fetal position allowing my abs to tighten up. I'm walking like a freakin hunch-back because it hurts so much if I stand up straight. I get home and Mr. Blasto is the same way. Both of us are just aching! I try stretching out, whch is SO painful, multiple times, but it just doesn't go away.
It is now Sunday and there is definitely still soreness. I guess we are bigger pansies than we thought.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Lasorda's lawyer, Tony Cappazola, was also indignant. "He's very upset. It's a slimy book so full of inaccuracies. For instance, she says she called Tommy back on his cellphone and he didn't even have a cellphone . . . She's an over-the-hill, desperate hooker attempting to make a buck," said the lawyer, who scoffed at Gibson's claim that Lasorda paid $1,500 in cash. "You know Lasorda. He wouldn't buy lunch," Cappazola said.
How many TONY CAPPOZZOLAs (Page Six spelled it wrong) can there be in the world right? Well it turns out there are two: Tony Jr. that we know and love (beep beep) and Tony Sr., Lasorda's Lawyer. And here we are, full circle.